So one of my most favorite bloggers ever, suggested that I make a new blog. A healthy bog, and really I loved the idea. So as you can see this is it. The new blog. I'm hoping I will be as dedicated as I used to be. Maybe even more now that I have my own personal lap top. I got it from my parents when I got out of treatment. They said it was a sign that they could and would trust me again. I don't know if i fully believe them, but hey I got a new computer so I'm not complaining and I think that its a good idea. a sign of trust.
So in the like 2 and a half months I was gone from blogger a lot changed in my life. I was spiraling in to depression and my eating disorder was getting really bad. My parents force feeding me was only making it worse, I know they were trying to help me. but lets face it, they didn't help at all. then one morning I woke up and I was lying in bed with the puppy. and I realized the only time I'd truly tried to get better I was doing it for my parents or my siblings, but really I should have been doing it for me. I needed to be healthy so I could have a good life, not so my parents could be happy. I know its hard but I think this is for the best I've seen so many girls die for this sickness. I AM NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM!!
I'm on my way to being healthy, I'm not happy all the time. but being happy doesn't come easy to me anymore. Hopefully one day it will again. for now i'm taking every day at a time and I'm not trying to deal with bad memories and problems alone.
i love you girls with all my heart and i appreciate that the ones who really cared stuck around through the depressing posts. you girls really help me a lot. i love you girls!
xoxox the new S
Awe! You're one of my favorite bloggers as well. Love you!
ReplyDeleteReally exciting about the laptop as well! I'm jealous, hah. But that is really great that they're really trying again at trust, it's always important when striving for recovering.
You're not always going to be happy about recovery, or not always happy in general about life! But it's all about being determined enough to make it through. You never know, something a lot better could be coming your way! I think being a part of ANOTHER kind of statistic would be a lot more awesome.. like, being a statistic for out of how many girls who have almost hit rock bottom just.. found a way back up. You could be an inspiration to so many girls! Speaking of "lying next to your puppy".. one of my reasons for living IS my puppy. What would be going through his mind if all of a sudden he never was able to see me again? He wouldn't know what happened and I'd hate for him to think I abandoned him.. that would tear me apart.
I'm really excited for you, girl xoxox
Best of luck with your recovery! You deserve to be healthy and happy. You can do this.
ReplyDeletexx